Be All Woman Blog

The following excerpt is taken from What Guys see that girls Don’t, or do they? by Sharon Daugherty

Often young girls do not understand how they come across to guys. When you are young, you’ve not have enough experience in life to understand and see the need to avoid vulnerability. When a guy sees a girl showing off her figure with tight-fitting clothes, short skirts, blouses that show breast cleavage and pants that reveal her navel, he is thinking she wants him not only to look but alos to touch what he sees.

He sees a sign that says, “Come and get me”. Guys are turned on by sight s quick as you can flip on a light switch while girls are not programmed to be turned on as quickly, and they are as stimulated by sight. Girls can look at guys without shirts and not be fazed.

Sure they might admire some muscle, but they aren’t  sexually stimulated, however, when they know they have stimulated a guy and they experience even greater stimulation through touch.

A girl can think she’s safe as long as she doesn’t feel sexually stimulated. The problem with this thinking is that she is naively setting herself up for guys to “come onto her” and take what she didn’t plan on giving away.

Remember the old saying, “Look but don’t touch”? Nevertheless, guys are programmed to think beyond a look and those guys who have already been exposed to lovemaking on TV or movies begin to fantasize in their minds. If they’ve been exposed to pornography, they struggle with undressing a girl in their minds while they are simply talking to the girl. The girls thinks she is being cute while he is thinking he wants to touch her where he shouldn’t.

REASONING AWAY WHAT WE KNOW IS WRONG

I remember reading a letter to “Dear Abby” in the newspaper about a couple in their 50’s who had rented a duplex next door to a young couple. The young wife never wore underwear and her blouse always revealed the shape of her breasts as well as her nipples. The wife of the owner resented this woman’s appearance each time the young woman talked to the older woman’s husband because she knew that this woman wanted to sexually arouse not only her husband but any man she was around.

The writer of “Dear Abby” suggested that the couple who owned the duplex sit down with the young couple and inform them of this difficult situation, asking the young woman to dress differently. If she refused, she and her husband would need to find another place that would suit them better. I’ve likewise encountered Christian girls and women who obviously weren’t wearing bras under their clothes, consequently revealing the form of their breasts and nipples.

Anyone could tell by a glance that they were not wearing underwear. If it is difficult for the reader to understand, I’ll make it plain. If a guy can easily that a girl or woman is not wearing any underwear, it triggers lust and fantasy in his mind if he doesn’t look away or immediately remove his thoughts from it.

I have talked with Christian men of all ages - teens and adults - who have desired to walk holy, but who have had difficulty when Christian girls and women do not seem to be sensitive in the area of dressing modestly. At other times, a guy can reason away the importance of staying pure in his thought life by telling himself that every guy has wrong thoughts. Does that sound like a cop-out?

In the book, Every Man’s Battle, by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoker, the authors point out that Christians who struggle with sexual impurity do so because they have diluted God’s standard of purity with their own reasoning. Have you reasoned away sexual purity as no longer relevant today?

Some Christians say, “Oh, well, we all sin in thought, word or deed every day.” They claim that people just can’t keep from sinning. What they are saying is, “Go ahead and sin because you’re going to sin in some way every day anyway.” If it is okay to think wrong thoughts and okay to sin and not restrain yourself, then why did Jesus and the writers of the New Testament say we should cut off, deny, or kill wrong thoughts and not allow them? (See Matthew 5:28-30; Ephesians 5:3, 5-8, 11; Colossians 3:5; Romans 13:1314; 6:11-16; 1Thessalonians 4:3-8; James 4: 4-8; 1Peter 2:11.)

A girl likewise can reason away the importance of dressing modestly by telling herself it’s fashionable and every other girl and woman wears the same modest clothes. In addition, “you just can’t find modest clothes in stores anymore.” Let me ask then, why are some Christian girls and women able to find fashionable clothes that are modest? Why do people still admire them even though they dress modestly? Why did Jesus and other New testament writers write about purity, modesty and living holy lives?

Many Christian girls and women feel they should be free to dress however they desire without having to consider some man’s thoughts toward them. They think that if guys have a problem, it’s their problem to deal with, and they shouldn’t make girls feel that they can’t dress immodestly.

Keep in mind that others watch you. Some watch to pattern their lives after you. Others watch with wrong motives toward you. Some watch with disappointment regarding what they are forced to look at. What you wear sends signals to people.

What do guys see when they look at you? Could what you are wearing be causing their imaginations to go wild? Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-30 (TLB): You shall not commit adultery…Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye - even if it is your best eye! - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. Better for part of you to be destroyed that for all of you to be cast into hell. And if your right hand - even your right hand - causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. Better that than find yourself in hell (emphasis added)

These are very strong words. To clarify, Jesus is not just saying here that He wants us to mutilate our bodies. People can mutilate their bodies and still have wrong thoughts and lusts. Rather, He wants us to cut off whatever situations are causing wrong thoughts and lusts. His illustration shows us that we must become drastic in ridding ourselves of anything that creates lust and wrong thoughts in our lives.

If you have a problem with lust towards others, cut off (get away from and avoid even the appearance of) any situation that would cause you to keep lusting for that person or lusting to be lusted for. If you have a problem pornography, don’t read pornographic magazines or watch pornography on TV, videos, movies or the internet.

Get rid of anything that would tempt you toward it. If it is a person you lust for, get far away from that person. Jesus indicated that if you don’t get rid of whatever causes you to lust and think sexual fantasies, it could take a person to hell.

I realize many Christians don’t believe that sexual fantasizing is just as dangerous as the actual act. However, this is not what Jesus indicated. There has  to be sincere repentance for a person to go to Heaven if he or she has had the pull toward sin. Besides, it has been said that whatever a person thinks about over a long period of time, they will ultimately act out.

In addition, we are commanded to never be the cause of another person sinning against God. Ladies, you could not only be causing guys to stumble by what you choose to wear, but you could be a factor in someone going to hell. Ask yourself if you are following the leading of the Holy Spirit regarding the clothes that you wear. Are you open to His correction if you need to be corrected?

Ephesians 4:17-24 (TLB) says:

Live no longer as the unsaved do, for they are blinded and confused. Thier closed hearts are full of darkness; they are far away from the life of God because they have shut their minds against Him, and they cannot understand His ways. They stop at nothing, being driven by their evil minds and reckless lusts. But that isn’t the way Christ taught you! If you have really heard His voice and learned from Him the truths concerning Himself, then throw off your old evil nature - the old you that was a partner in your evil ways - rotten through and through, full of lust and shame. Now your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better. Yes, you must be a new and different person, holy and good. Clothe yourself with this new nature.

When your motive for life is seeking to please God, lust will have no power over you. You’ll think about what Jesus would want to do. He definitely does not need you to wear a thong, show your breast cleavage, or wear tight clothes to reveal how big your breasts are or how cute your bottom is, in order to bring Jesus glory and honor.

However, keeping yourself within the boundaries of modesty does honor God. It removes the possibility that someone might be seduced and instead, they can hear what you have to say about Jesus.

Many Christian girls are still caught in or are struggling with the trap of thinking that their values is in their bodies. The oddity of this is that these same girls who dress in a revealing way, drawing attention to their breasts, bellies, legs or bottoms also desire to be treated with respect. They want people to value them for who they are as a person and not just as an object to look at.

But while they want to be valued for their abilities and knowledge, others find it hard not to focus on their breasts, bellies, legs or bottoms, especially when so much of these parts are forced in their faces. It becomes difficult for the person to get past looking at the tight and revealing clothes in order to listen to them speak.

Around our house, our sons have lots of friends who come over and talk. I’ve had several discussions with many of these young Christian men who have told me that they often have to look up at the ceiling or sky or turn their heads to the side while talking to Christian girls or women who dress immodestly or seductively.

Unfortunately, Christian guys of all ages have also shared with me that they have had difficulty even going to church and keeping their thoughts pure when Christian girls and women wear tight-fitting, low-cut, or see-through clothes to attract attention to their bodies. They feel they have to be on guard continually  even at church. But shouldn’t church at least be a safe place for a guy’s mind?

If a woman is secure in herself, she won’t feel the need to keep creating opportunities to excite the sensual passion in guys. If she isn’t secure, she will lust to be lusted for. If a young girl hasn’t had a good father, guardian or older brother to guide her and give her love and affirmation growing up as a child, she will seek to find love, affirmation and value from a boy through the way she dresses.

She will even go beyond moral boundaries for attention, acceptance and love by a boy. As he grows up and then marries, she will still be trying to establish her value by how she looks.

One young Christian wife and mother who had gained a lot of weight during her pregnancies decided to loose weight simply because she wanted more attention. When she eventually lost weight, she bought new clothes to replace her other clothes. The new ones she bought, were tighter and formfitting. She began to draw attention from men and she liked it.

She thought this made her feel valuable. In the beginning, it was just flattery. However, something changed within her. The thrill of attention and her desire to experience the world finally led her to leave her spouse and children in order to date other men and fulfill her lust.

The Devastation and Destruction of Lust.

It has been said, “Lust will take you further than you want to go, cost you more than you want to pay and keep you longer than you want to stay.” Lust can’t be satisfied. It may appear to be appeased at times, but it is only a temporary satisfaction and will soon rise up and say, “Give me more.”

James 1:15 says, “When lust hath conceived ["conceived" means to form an idea in the mind; to imagine], it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” In order to cause those consequences,  lust must be “deprived of it’s power” (see Col.3:5 AMP).

Temptation starts with a thought. Then, if a person meditates on that thought, sooner or later the person is drawn away from self-control and steadfastness to entertain the thought. Lust begins when a person delights in the thought instead of rejecting it or turning away from it to another direction.

When a person continues to hold on to lustful thinking, ultimately he or she will act out their lust. If not repented of, cut off,  and changed in one’s thinking, sin will ultimately bring destruction, loss and sometimes death.

This is why lust is not some small thing that a person  can pass off as “no big deal.” Lust’s ambition is to take over your life. Lust convinces you that everyone does it, it’s okay and you will never suffer for it. If everyone does it and it’s okay, then why would God say over and over to crucify lust, deny its way, deprive it of its power, give it no opportunity and flee from it?

Here’s a thought. If everyone told you that it’s okay to jump of the Empire State Building because everyone is doing it, would you do it? let’s hope your answer in “No!”

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

Once I was speaking to a group of young Christian teens about “Surrendered Life and living in Modesty,” one of the girls raised her hand and asked if she could speak. I called her up to the platform and she shared her story. She began by saying, “You all know me. You know how wild I was when I first came to this church.”

She went on to say that shortly after coming to church, she surrendered to Jesus Christ and He bagan changing everything in her life. She said she realized immediately that her clothed had to change.

I thought it was interesting that no person told her that she needed to change her wardrobe; it was God who convicted her because she was now open to listen to Him and obey Him. I believe one of the true conversion is when a person surrenders her life and she immediately wants to please God in everything.

This new desire to please God seems to open a person up to God’s voice and there is a yearning to obey Him instantly without argument.

When she looked in her closet, she realized that all her clothes were tight, revealing, or short. She had shown a lot of skin. So she went through her closet and got rid of the clothes she had been wearing. Her mom then went shopping with her to buy some looser and longer shirts and shorts that summer. She also enrolled in our Christian school for the upcoming year.

During that summer, she usually went to the mall weekly, and she came to realize that no guys were noticing her. One time when she came home, she asked, “Mom, am I ugly?” Her mom answered, “No, you’re beautiful.Why do you ask that?” She explained that previously, boys she didn’t even know used to come up to her at the mall and ask for her name and phone number. Her mom said, “Well, you’re not wearing the clothes you once wore.”

She said, “I realized then that the only guys I was attracting were the ones who wanted me only for my body.” Then she said, “I also realized I liked all their attention and craved it as much as they craved looking at me. It was an adjustment. Everything pastor Sharon is saying today is true.

Girls and women wear the sexy fashion of clothes because we have as much of a desire for guys to look at us they have had looking at us. “She realized her value didn’t rest in her outward appearance. Her transformation as a Christian made her stand up against the crowd and challenge others to live by a different standard.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

“Lawlessness” is not having any moral restraint over your passions or desires. Freedom in Jesus Christ means you are free from the dominion and control of your passions. It is being free from the power of sin to manipulate you and free from going your own way. It is a freedom within your spirit that you no longer live by lust’s control, but instead by the leading of the Holy Spirit.

When lust controls you, it will entangle you deeper and deeper until you feel you can’t change or go another direction. Of course, that’s a lie. That’s exactly what satan wants you to think. The truth is: Jesus Christ can deliver anyone who wants to be free from lust’s dominion.

Let’s define “lust.” Lust is to have strong desire or craving; a longing for; with the mind made up that if circumstances afforded opportunity. Lust is a state of heart and is deadly as the act of immorality itself. “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matth.5:28).

Do you crave to be looked at? Do you enjoy the thrill of knowing that guys are being sexually aroused by how you look? Some girls are satisfied with just the thrill that they can turn a guy’s head or his eyes, but this attitude can become lust. To be lustful is to provoke or excite those sensual passions in oneself and in others. A girl can get “turned on” sexually knowing that she is turning on a guy  sexually.

A person may say she is a Christian, yet if she uses no self-restraint toward creating thoughts of lust, impurity and sexual desires outside of marriage, she is as dangerous as a poisonous snake. And anybody with a thimble full of common sense avoids poisonous snakes so that they don’t get bitten and die. However many who claim to be Christians see nothing wrong with lust and being sexually involved with other people outside of marriage.

Galatians 5:19 says, “When you follow your own wrong inclinations your lives will produce these evil results: impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure”. Colossians 3:5 says, “Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust and shameful desires….”

There are forces pulling you - in a right direction or in a wrong direction. Understand that when you are on the throne of your life, your inclinations will direct you selfishly toward fulfilling your passions, lust and desires. On the other hand, when Jesus is on the throne of your life, the Holy Spirit will incline you toward pure thoughts, right motives, godly desires and a fear of the Lord. You realize that God’s eyes “are in every place, beholding the evil and the good” (Prov.15:3). Nothing is hidden from Him and you will reap whatever seeds you sow.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

Most of the time when the word “lust” comes to mind, people automatically think of men lusting for women. However, have you ever stopped to consider the fact that women can lust to be lusted for? You may have never thought of it that way, but guys know when a girl is naive or when she is purposely wearing clothes to seduce them. I’ve talked with young men and older men..and they know.

A woman can experience an emotional rush of lust, knowing she has turned a man’s head her direction to get a second look or even when he follows her with just his eyes. It can even become a game she plays on a regular basis because she craves attention. Women can be just as guilty of the sin of lust as the men who lust for them. Of course, they have the ability to play innocent and this is where the sin of deception comes in.

I remember hosting a youth gathering of guys and girls at our house where one girl walked in with a tight, short top revealing half of her stomach and belly button and hip-hugger pants that hung so loose it appeared they might fall off. They were unbuttoned in the front so that you could see her flowered bikini underwear. When my daughter spoke to her about it, she said, “Oh, I didn’t have anything of my own to wear tonight, so I borrowed a pair of my sister’s jeans and they’re a little big on me.owing”

Then when she was asked why she had them unbuttoned in front where her underwear was showing, the girl shook off the question by saying, “Oh, that’s just my bikini swimsuit bottom I’m wearing underneath.” My daughter replied, “You need to button up if you’re going to stay here for the gathering.”

She did button up, but she kept hanging her hands on the sides of her pants so they still would look sexy. The true motive of heart was to draaw guys’ attention to that part of her body for sexual arousal. She lusted to be lusted for.

When a girl or a woman lusts to be lusted for, she doesn’t want anyone telling her what to wear or how to wear her clothing because she feels she should be free to do what she wants to do. Is this freedom - the ability to do whatever you want to do regardless of how it affects other people?

Just to set the record straight - freedom in Jesus Christ is not freedom to do whatever you want to do. That is called lust and lawlessness

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

Most women don’t realize that guys are visual. Unlike females, males are created testosterones that, as they mature, can be easily triggered simply by looking at a female who is dressed in a way that accentuates parts of her body. Guys have much more difficulty with what they see than girls do.

When a girl sees some guy without a shirt on, it may not create any arousal to her sexual desires. However, if a man sees a woman immodestly dressed, with her breasts or belly or a lot of leg showing, he can be sexually aroused immediately. It’s part of the difference of our makeup as male and female.

When girls dress in whatever is fashionable, many of them have no comprehension of or consider what guys have to deal with in their minds. When a guys sees a girl who is wearing tight fitting, revealing clothes, he wonders in his mind if she is saying, “Come and get me”.  I want you to have whatever you want and see.” Whereas a girl may think she is simply dressing fashionably.

When a girl makes an effort to dress modestly and still stay within fashion, a guy is more likely to think, She is secure in who she is and obviously isn’t trying to find her identity in showing off her body and what she’s got. She knows what she’s got and she’s saving it for the right one whom she”’ marry one day.

Over the years, I remember hearing about young guys who weren’t saved or even thinking about God make comments like, “That girl who is showing her stuff is who Id like to play around with, but that girl [pointing out the one who was dressed more modestly] is the kind of girl I want to marry.” Why is that?

I’ll tell you why. The girl showing her body represents someone to use and throw away. The girl who is covering herself represents something valuable that they guy wants to someday possess and keep. Ask yourself, “Am I going to be a cheap throwaway, or do I want to be a valuable prize to be treasured?”

A secure guy not a “body hunter”, is attracted to the strength of a girl who sets her standards and doesn’t cave in to his or anyone else’s peer pressure. She’s not pressured by the put-down comments of other girls who talk that way, attempting to raise their own value.

She’s is also not pressured by the manipulative persuasiveness of some slick-talking guy. She’s discerning and she possesses a strength within to stand up to criticism. She knows how to look while staying within boundaries when she dresses.

The quality guy then is not attracted to her for her outward decorations as much as he is to her inner strength, her love, her “realness,” her sincerity, her genuine love for others and her desire to please God.

Warning: If you want a guy to want your body, you’ll get a guy who wants only your body. He will get what he wants from you and then he will look for another body that he sees and wants. If a guy marries a girl for her body, he’ll continue to lust  for an attractive body that he sees, even after he is married.

I’ve counseled women whose husbands married them out of lust; consequently, these women have to constantly deal with the insecurity of wondering if their husbands are cheating on them or not. They also struggle with the absence of closeness in their marriage relationship, except for sex.

This produces a sense of no value except for her body. Over a periods of time, this can cause resentment, bitterness and a loss of any intimate love toward that husband. The marriage ten becomes just an existence together. When we focus our relationship with the opposite sex on our physical body and sensual clothes, it will be based on lust. Subsequently, whatever you obtain by lust, you’ll pay for with heartache and pain, because lust is never satisfied. It always wants more and will look everywhere in order to get more.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

Have you ever taken one of those multiple-choice style quizzes in a magazine or online? It’s interesting how they can ask ten, or so, random little questions like, “What’s your favorite color?” or “Where did you last go on vacation?” and at the end, give you a surprisingly accurate synopsis of your personality and an overview of your fashion style. Somehow, it seems that in less than five minutes, they know more about you than your best friend! If only the other areas of our lives could be figured out so easily!

As women, we are born with an innate desire to express ourselves through our style. I can remember when I was a little girl, no one had to tell me to play in my mother’s makeup or jewelry; I just did it. It came naturally. I loved to put on her lipstick and necklaces. I felt so grown up and beautiful—even though that lipstick was anywhere on my face but my lips! No one ever had to tell me to pick out pretty dresses, and twirl around in them. And, as I grew up, no one had to tell me to love shopping, either!

It’s no secret. Most women do love to shop. Whether we buy anything or not, we can find satisfaction just in the experience. But, have you ever been shopping with a friend, trying to help them pick out clothes and they say, “Oh that’s not me.” Or “That is so me!” Women naturally want to make sure their clothing style accurately reflects who they are. Have you ever noticed that men don’t talk like that when they buy clothes? In most cases, they aren’t saying things like, “That is so me!” or “I feel fabulous in this!” They are buying clothes first and foremost out of necessity, and either the item they see fits the bill, or it doesn’t. Women dress according to their mood and feelings, men dress according to the facts, what they need to wear that day. That’s why men will never understand when a woman stares at her closet full of clothes and exclaims, “I have nothing to wear!” What she’s really saying is, “I can’t find anything that I feel comfortable in today.”

But have you ever thought that God created you that way for a purpose? Webster’s defines “style” as a distinctive manner of expression or behavior. Yes, we have our own fashion style in the natural, but did you know that we have a spiritual style, too? Just as you want to feel comfortable in your clothes in the natural, God wants you to feel comfortable in your spiritual clothes, too. He put something deep on the inside of you to recognize when you’re wearing something that just “isn’t you.” For example, Isaiah 61 talks about wearing a garment of praise instead of a spirit of heaviness. The bible also talks about wearing a robe of righteousness and a garment of salvation. We should recognize that any time we are feeling weighted down by the pressures of life, anytime we start feeling like we don’t measure up, any time we feel overwhelmed we should take one look at our spiritual mirror, the Word of God, and say, “Oh that’s not me at all!”” We need to take off those old, dirty garments of self-defeating thoughts and put on garments of peace, righteousness, praise, and love.

I love what is says in I Peter 3:3-5. It says that as women, we shouldn’t just focus all of our efforts on our external appearance, but we should remember that our inward appearance, our heart, is our most important accessory. It tells us that we should focus on having a gentle and peaceful spirit, we shouldn’t be anxious or easily upset, but we should reflect the character and style of God. Peter’s basically saying, “Listen, I know you women love to dress up, but let’s keep things in perspective. Let’s follow the example of the faithful women of days gone by who took care of their external appearance and their internal appearance.”

Remember, true beauty isn’t about what you look like, it’s the experience you leave with the people you encounter on a daily basis. Think about a beautiful song. You can’t see it, but yet it touches your inner being. In the same way, we should deposit good things into the lives of others. Do people leave your presence better off than they were before? The scripture tells us that when we bring Good News to others, even our feet are beautiful!

Make the choice today to allow the character and style of God to flow through you. Look for ways to do something beautiful in the lives of the people you encounter today. As you do, you’ll feel His garments cover your heart, and you will move forward in confidence knowing that His style is reflected in you.

By Victoria Osteen

The attitude of compromise has affected many Christians and churches today, and even some in leadership positions have comprised their lifestyles. Other leaders have been afraid to speak up and bring attention to areas that need to be corrected because of fear of offending people.

Sometimes in the desire to be accepted and popular, a person agrees with the crowd to please them instead of standing up to and challenging them toward what is right. It takes strength to go against the crowd and lovingly speak up and address what needs to be corrected. I personally have come to realize that it is good for each of us to check ourselves regularly, making sure we are seeking to please Jesus and not simply conforming to the world’s standards or what other Christians’ ideas may be, which are not godly.

In an article in Charisma magazine, August 2004, titled, “Put on Some Clothes!” Valerie Lowe shared, “Last year when a well-known female preacher arrived at a Pentecostal conference wearing an extremely tight dress, leaders of the group apologized to attendees and promised, “She will never preach here again.”

Do you think that was harsh? let me ask you another question” Do you think she was dressing to please God or to just look good? I don’t know who this person is, but if she wasn’t convicted over the situation, it is possible that her heart has become hardened to that still small voice.

The more sensitive we are to His still small voice, the more sensitive we will be in how we come across to those we desire to reach or tech. Romans 14:15 indicates that when your brother (or sister) in Christ is grieved over what you are doing, it’s time to evaluate your love walk. It’s time to consider how much you are willing to lay down in order to communicate the Gospel of Jesus

In this article, Valerie Lowe continues: “One Florida pastor, frustrate about immodest dress among his congregants, confronted the problem during Sunday morning worship. “When you wear your clothes tight and short enough, you’re making a statement about yourself. My advice to you is, “If you are not for sale, please take the sign down!”

Here is another question: What kind of girls or women sell themselves? Here’s an answer: The kind who make money with their bodies. Is that the kind of women you want others to view you as? Is there such thing as a Christian prostitute? According to God’s Word, the answer is “No.” (I realize in our society’s mind-set today, some might have different opinions. However, our standard to live is not the opinions of others but the opinion of God.)

Does the grace of God remove self-restraint and consideration for others? It seems that many in the church world have focused so much on a “no boundary” grace and freedom that they have removed any sense of responsibility of restraint on themselves. Self-restraint and consideration of others are characteristics of being led by the Holy Spirit. Having boundaries in our lives is fruit of true christianity. Remember, one fruit of the Spirit is self-control (see Gal.5:22-23).

Today it can be hard to tell if a girl is a christian or not if you only take into account the way she dresses. Most girls dress according to fashion without thinking about it. But whether you realize it or not, you are communicating to others with your clothes.

This may be a new thought for you to consider. We not only communicate with our words, but we communicate with how we dress. For example, it’s a general understanding that if an event you are attending is casual, you might wear clothes such as jeans and a T-shirt. If you were to wear a formal evening gown at this function, people would look at you strangely. Wheres, if you attended a more formal occasion, you would probaly wear a formal dress or a semi-formal pantsuit. Anything casual would draw attention as being “out of place.” The type of gathering you are attending is communicated by what you wear.

Here’s another thought to consider: We also communicate by the way we wear clothes. We communicate if we secure or insecure, in need of attention, or fearful of any attention, seductive, guarded or loose, feminine or manly, naive or totally aware. In any case, no matter what the occasion, or what we are wearing, or how we are wearing it, the Word of God tells us God’s will is for us to dress modestly.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

What does it mean to be “in style”? Style is the prevailing fashion trend at a particular time. To be “in style” is to do and wear what everyone else seems to be doing and wearing. If we look around right now, I think we can see that modesty doesn’t appear to be “in style.” It definitely is not the prevailing fashion trend. Wherever you go in public, whenever you turn on the TV, you are faced with lots of skin and “in your face” bodies of girls and women.

Fashion designers promote clothes that reveal as much skin as possible, while still leaving a few threads on the body. Choosing to advertise this type of clothing reveals that they live in a darkened understanding (see Rom.1:21).

Without a God consciousness, there is moral compass or guide. And when designers design clothes without a moral guide, they have no sense of responsibility for the society of people for whom they are making clothes; consequently, they will design and market a product to the absolute limits that the public will accept.

What’s on their minds is creating something new and different in order to entice people to buy their fashions. Everything is subject to change and they continue to change fashion so that people will continue to buy and spend money, so that they can keep making money.

Modesty may not be something that clothing designers are considering at the moment, but that could change; all things are possible. One thing is for sure - there is a great Designer who is thinking about modesty - the “Master Fashion Designer” - God Himself. Would you like to know exactly what He thinks? He wrote His will to Christians in First Timothy 2:9: “I would like for women to wear modest and sensible clothes…”CEV There you go! That’s pretty plain and understandable.

It’s amazing that there was a need to address this issue of women’s clothes even then. God obviously knew that hundreds and thousands of years later, we would need this instruction as well.

An interesting fact is that this book of the Bible was written from an older single man named Paul to a young single pastor named Timothy, instructing him to tell the girls and women at this church to dress modestly.

Today more than ever before, modesty needs to be addressed among Christian girls and women who go to church week after week. Pastors, youth pastors and men who attend church are speaking up and saying, “Please put some clothes on that cover your body and don’t emphasize your body parts. Dress so thaat guys don’t have to deal with thoughts of lust when they go to church.” Church should be considered a “safe house,” not a house of seduction.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty. (p11-12)