Be All Woman Blog

Many Christian girls are still caught in or are struggling with the trap of thinking that their values is in their bodies. The oddity of this is that these same girls who dress in a revealing way, drawing attention to their breasts, bellies, legs or bottoms also desire to be treated with respect. They want people to value them for who they are as a person and not just as an object to look at.

But while they want to be valued for their abilities and knowledge, others find it hard not to focus on their breasts, bellies, legs or bottoms, especially when so much of these parts are forced in their faces. It becomes difficult for the person to get past looking at the tight and revealing clothes in order to listen to them speak.

Around our house, our sons have lots of friends who come over and talk. I’ve had several discussions with many of these young Christian men who have told me that they often have to look up at the ceiling or sky or turn their heads to the side while talking to Christian girls or women who dress immodestly or seductively.

Unfortunately, Christian guys of all ages have also shared with me that they have had difficulty even going to church and keeping their thoughts pure when Christian girls and women wear tight-fitting, low-cut, or see-through clothes to attract attention to their bodies. They feel they have to be on guard continually  even at church. But shouldn’t church at least be a safe place for a guy’s mind?

If a woman is secure in herself, she won’t feel the need to keep creating opportunities to excite the sensual passion in guys. If she isn’t secure, she will lust to be lusted for. If a young girl hasn’t had a good father, guardian or older brother to guide her and give her love and affirmation growing up as a child, she will seek to find love, affirmation and value from a boy through the way she dresses.

She will even go beyond moral boundaries for attention, acceptance and love by a boy. As he grows up and then marries, she will still be trying to establish her value by how she looks.

One young Christian wife and mother who had gained a lot of weight during her pregnancies decided to loose weight simply because she wanted more attention. When she eventually lost weight, she bought new clothes to replace her other clothes. The new ones she bought, were tighter and formfitting. She began to draw attention from men and she liked it.

She thought this made her feel valuable. In the beginning, it was just flattery. However, something changed within her. The thrill of attention and her desire to experience the world finally led her to leave her spouse and children in order to date other men and fulfill her lust.

The Devastation and Destruction of Lust.

It has been said, “Lust will take you further than you want to go, cost you more than you want to pay and keep you longer than you want to stay.” Lust can’t be satisfied. It may appear to be appeased at times, but it is only a temporary satisfaction and will soon rise up and say, “Give me more.”

James 1:15 says, “When lust hath conceived ["conceived" means to form an idea in the mind; to imagine], it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” In order to cause those consequences,  lust must be “deprived of it’s power” (see Col.3:5 AMP).

Temptation starts with a thought. Then, if a person meditates on that thought, sooner or later the person is drawn away from self-control and steadfastness to entertain the thought. Lust begins when a person delights in the thought instead of rejecting it or turning away from it to another direction.

When a person continues to hold on to lustful thinking, ultimately he or she will act out their lust. If not repented of, cut off,  and changed in one’s thinking, sin will ultimately bring destruction, loss and sometimes death.

This is why lust is not some small thing that a person  can pass off as “no big deal.” Lust’s ambition is to take over your life. Lust convinces you that everyone does it, it’s okay and you will never suffer for it. If everyone does it and it’s okay, then why would God say over and over to crucify lust, deny its way, deprive it of its power, give it no opportunity and flee from it?

Here’s a thought. If everyone told you that it’s okay to jump of the Empire State Building because everyone is doing it, would you do it? let’s hope your answer in “No!”

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

Relationships can be very difficult to manage because there is only one aspect that is capable of being varied or changed all the time and that is the other person. Because we don’t know what the other person is going to do, we may be going along doing the best we know how and all of a sudden find ourselves in the middle of a relationship crisis. Our darkest hours can come because of the troubled times we have with people.

Any kind of relationship can bring pain. Strife with a mother or father, a brother or sister, a husband or wife, a son or a daughter, a relative, a friend, pastor, bosss, neigbor, boyfriend, girlfriend or co-worker can cause us to experience a knot in our stomach, a lump in our throat and a loss od sleep.

That is because whether we want to ackowledge it or not, relationships are very important to each of us. We can’t live without them. Nor were we ever intended to. God never planned for us to live entirely seperate from other people. Much of what God wants to work in us will come about as we grow in our relationships with the people God wants in our lives.

Every relationship requires a sacrifice. Every sacrifice has a reward. If we knew the rewards, we wouldn’t hesitate to make the sacrifices. Part of the sacrifice we must play in a relationship is laying down our pride and our needs. We need to be loved, cared for, valued and respected, but we never get those needs met when we demand them. We get them when we give them up. Humbling ourselves and putting the other person’s needs before our own can resurrect a relationship that has suffered deadly wounds.

Staying on the right path in any relationship means getting rid of excess personal baggage. Unforgiveness and jealousy are examples od such baggage. These nagitive attitudes will drive a wedge into any relationship. And they are always evident to other people, even if they don’t recognize exactly what it is they are observing.

The dark moments of relationships can be kept to a minimum if we humble ourselves before God and ask Him to walk us step-by-step through every layer of unforgiveness and jealousy. It’s a sacrifice that always brings a great reward.

The best way to protect all of your relationships is to make sure your primary relationship is with the Lord. Then commit each of your relationships to God and ask  Him to be Lord over all of them. Cover them in prayer and seek God’s hand of reconciliation where that is needed.

Even though we can do a great deal to offer our love and forgiveness to other people, only God can soften their hearts enough for them ro receive it. Ask Him to do that too.

In ironing out the wrinkles in relationships, I find it’s best to remember two things: release people and cling to God. Gaining that perspective can help you rise above the failings of flesh and elevate you to the realm of the miraculous. The stronger your realtionships is with the Lord, the better your other relationships will be.

The dark moments of any relationship can strenghten your walk with the Lord as you draw closer to Him. So make Him the focus of your attention and trust Him to shine a special light at the crossroads of where your path intersects with the path of another person.

For as he/she thinks in his heart so is he/she.. Proverbs 23:7

Let me ask you a question: “Do You Accept Yourself?” Don’t be like most women, because most women don’t like themselves. Some women know it and others don’t even have a clue that is the root of many other problems in their life. Self-rejection is the root of many relationship problems. God wants us to have great relationships. You know the bible is a book about relationships. God wants a relationship with us and He wants to come as close as we let Him.

1Peter 3:11 says: …[Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!] So, God wants us to have good relationships and also teaches us how to develop and maintain those relationships. But, first things first: you must believe that God loves you. You have to! He is not waiting until you are perfected to love you. He loves you unconditionally and completely at all times. And then: you must recieve Hiss love.

The receiving part is sometimes very difficult for us. When we receive from God, we actually take into ourselves what He is offering to us. God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given to us. So pray now: “Heavenly Father, I am grateful that even in hard times I can feel Your love and You are always working in me a greater sense of hope.” When we realize that we are filed with God’s love, we can begin loving ourselves.

Remember: we cannot give away what we don’t have! So, now we know what we have and we can bestow it on others. Ask yourself what are you doing with the love of God that has been freely given to you. Are you rejecting it because you don’t think you are valuable enough to be loved? Do you believe that God is like other people who have rejected and even hurt you? Or are you receiving His love by faith and beleive that He is greater than your failures and weaknesses?

What kind of relationship do you have with God, with yourself and ultimately with people around you? I never thought about the fact that I had a relationship with myself. That was something that I never had thought about until I heard somebody talk about it. It is so important that you realize that you spend more time with yourself that anyone else and it is vital that you get along with yourself!

After all you cannot get away from yourself. It is so painful to work with somebody that we don’t get along with, but at least we don’t have to take that person home with us. But guess what? We are with us all the time, day and night. We cannot walk away from ourselves - therefor it is very important tat we have peace with ourselves.

We cannot reject ourselves; it doesn’t do us any good. It will not change us, it even will multiply our problems. Acceptance is much better because it causes us to face reality and the begin to deal with it. we cannot deal with anything as long as we refuse to accept it or deny its reality. You have to use you will! You can choose or not choose to accept yourself.

God is offering you the opportunity to accept yourself as you are, but you have a free will and can refuse to do so if you so choose. It is very sad when women/people reject themselves because they cannot see themselves as a valuable person. They only see their flaws and weaknesses, not their beauty and strength. We need to agree with God that when he created us, He created something good.

Once I was speaking to a group of young Christian teens about “Surrendered Life and living in Modesty,” one of the girls raised her hand and asked if she could speak. I called her up to the platform and she shared her story. She began by saying, “You all know me. You know how wild I was when I first came to this church.”

She went on to say that shortly after coming to church, she surrendered to Jesus Christ and He bagan changing everything in her life. She said she realized immediately that her clothed had to change.

I thought it was interesting that no person told her that she needed to change her wardrobe; it was God who convicted her because she was now open to listen to Him and obey Him. I believe one of the true conversion is when a person surrenders her life and she immediately wants to please God in everything.

This new desire to please God seems to open a person up to God’s voice and there is a yearning to obey Him instantly without argument.

When she looked in her closet, she realized that all her clothes were tight, revealing, or short. She had shown a lot of skin. So she went through her closet and got rid of the clothes she had been wearing. Her mom then went shopping with her to buy some looser and longer shirts and shorts that summer. She also enrolled in our Christian school for the upcoming year.

During that summer, she usually went to the mall weekly, and she came to realize that no guys were noticing her. One time when she came home, she asked, “Mom, am I ugly?” Her mom answered, “No, you’re beautiful.Why do you ask that?” She explained that previously, boys she didn’t even know used to come up to her at the mall and ask for her name and phone number. Her mom said, “Well, you’re not wearing the clothes you once wore.”

She said, “I realized then that the only guys I was attracting were the ones who wanted me only for my body.” Then she said, “I also realized I liked all their attention and craved it as much as they craved looking at me. It was an adjustment. Everything pastor Sharon is saying today is true.

Girls and women wear the sexy fashion of clothes because we have as much of a desire for guys to look at us they have had looking at us. “She realized her value didn’t rest in her outward appearance. Her transformation as a Christian made her stand up against the crowd and challenge others to live by a different standard.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

During the time of my life I have discovered that most people really don’t like themselves. This is a very big problem, mych bigger than you just might think. If you don’t get along with ourselves, it may seem to us as that others reject us as well. Relationships are a large part of our lives. How we feel about ourselves is a determining factor in our success in life and in relationships.

What about you, but when I am around people who are insecure, it makes me feel insecure about them too. It is certainly not God’s will for us to feel insecure. Insecurity or rejection is a work of the devil. Acceptance is a work of God. Jesus has come to bring restoration to our life.

Our self-image is the inner picture we see of ourselves. If what we see is not healthy, we most likely live in fear, insecurity and misconception about ourselves. We even really can suffer from this. When you are insecure about yourself, you suffer in your mind and emotions and also in your relationships.

It is not a nice feeling when you be with people and feel that they don’t like you or you might want to do things and don’t feel free enough to step out and give it a try. The most important thing you can do is studying God’s Word and read about the amazing Love He has for you. To read that He accepts you will bring healing to your life.

We all have a destiny and we should be free to fulfill it; however that fulfillment will not happen as long as you feel insecure and have a poor self-image.

You have to know that God approves of you!
Jeremiah 1:5  says: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you [as My chosen instrument].
God never intended for us to feel bad about ourselves. He wants that we know ourselves well and that we can accept ourselves.

Nobody other than God knows us better than God does. Even we still make mistakes and sometimes even reject Him to take care of us the way He would like to take of us.; He still keeps loving us and accepts us. Remember, He loved you first and came to you to save you. He does not approve of our behavior, but He is committed to us. You see, God can hate what you do and still love us; He is able to to separate the two.

God sees our hearts; isn’t it comforting to know that God does not judge us in the same way that other people often judge us? Or even in the harsh way in which we sometimes judge ourselves?  God is concerned with what is in our hearts. That means He cares about our thoughts, passions, attitudes and whether we trust in Him and love His ways. He does not place value on our outward looks, social status, financial standing or any other external measure that the world considers so important.

What is God seeing in your heart today? Take a heart inventory right now. First pray that God would reveal and then remove anything in your heart that doesn’t belong there - resentments, anger, sinful thoughts, wrong thoughts about yourself. Pray that God would help you see the parts in yourself that need renewing. Make your heart available to God’s power and see what amazing things He will do through you.

The other day I realized how many excuses people can have for not doing the things that they need to do. It makes life  complicated. Life is made out of choices. Choices flow through obedience.  Things show up in our life and because of our conscience we know what we need to do, but there is always that little thing is that likes us to look the other way.

For instance: when your electric bill arrives, you might be able to come up with at least four reasons  for not paying it: You could say” “I don’t have what it takes.” or “I don’t want to.” or maybe: “I don’t know I had to.” and even: “I forgot.”  Which one of these reasons do you think the electric company will accept as a legitimate excuse for not paying?

Yeah, you guessed right! None of those. Which one of those four reasons does God accept as a good excuse for not living in obedience to His ways? That’s right. None of the above! It doesn’t matter what we think or feel as though we just don’t have it in us to accomplish what He wants or even openly rebel or that we don’t know the right thing to do or that we foget to do the right thing. The consequence is still the same.

We will sense darkness around us. This is because we are doing our own way. God is not in our decision so, He is not with us. We might not realize at first, but later on we will reap the consequences. The more “disobedience” the more darkness.

We don’t have to live the way He asks us to, we sacrifice much of the light we could enjoy. We don’t experience the degree of His protection, guidance and answers to prayer that we otherwise would. We forfeit certain blessings when we are not willing to do the things that must precede them.

When we obey God, we are protected. Noah was called to build the arc because God said, “I have found you righteous” Genesis 7:1) Noah’s righteousness intimately saved him and his family from destruction. We can end up in the most wonderful places in our lives, places we wouldn’t have thought to go on our own, simply because God sees that we have a heart to live His way.

When we love Him enough to obey what He asks, we come under the covering of His protection. There are ways that are right and way that are not, and we cannot confuse the two. If we obey God, He will give us the light of His revelation and get us where we need to go.

When we obey God, we see answers to our prayers. If you find you are not enjoying answers to your prayers, ask God to show you if you have neglected to be obedient to His ways in some area of your life. The Bible says we “receive from him anything we ask, because we obey His commands and do what pleases Him.” (1John3:22) There is a direct correlation between obedience and answered prayer.

God is not trying to be a dictator; He simply wants to show us how life works best. He is saying to us, “if you will do this, I will do that.” In wahtever area he is asking us to obey, we can be sure He is trying to teach us something that will be for our benefit.

Ask Him to show you if there are certain steps of obedience He wants you to take. He’ll tell you. You can depend on it. When you come to a place where you trust Him so throroughly that you will obey no matter whatever He says, yu’ll find that obedience won’t be a gut-wrenching misery; it wil be a privilege.

You’ll obey because you love God. And because the rewards are great. You’ll obey out of the desire to have nothing come between you and God. You’ll obey because you’ll pay any price to not have your lights shut off.

When I look at women I can see women who are very confident about so many things in life and I wonder “what are they doing?” Don’t you? Their skin is healthy, but most of all they seem to be healthy in body and also in their mind. I think there is a different approach to every age of your body and changing health needs.

Of course there are a few secrets to staying well at every age.  We can feel out of balance and sometimes even a lot; we need to go and do the things that make us feel right and keeps us going. What are the secrets, the important habits that smart women of every age work into their everyday routines?

1. She Prays. Spend the first hour of your day with the Lord and your day will be successful. When you acknowledge Him in your ways; He will lead you to your full  potential.

2. SHE is active. This is almost a prescription to feeling better, being active can help you relax, clear your mind, help you sleep better, keep your attitude up and may even prevent you from getting sick. No matter what your age is, it’s never too late to start and even a few minutes a day is better than none at all.

3. SHE eats good food. Fruits, veggies, whole grains and foods moderate in fat and sodium will do you well. You need to inform yourself; there are many books in the stores and online. This is one of my favorites.

4. SHE knows when to relax. It is a good thing to journal every day. Have you ever thought about that? Gardening is a good thing to do, meditating on the scriptures, reading, walking or just resting - anything that helps you relax while you reap the benefits of feeling good. Being more relaxed will also help you sleep better.

5. SHE has a sense of humor. Keep a sense of humor during difficult situations. Stress management experts recommend laughter to release built-up feelings and it helps to keep perspective, it alos appears to have actual physical effects that reduce stress hormone levels.

6. She has good friends. it is important to talk a close friend about some issues in your life that are stressful. In the counsel of friends it is easier to make decisions and to conquer life’s challenges. A friend might see your situation differently and offer a creative solution. She might even share a similar experience with you and tell you what worked for her. You can pray together for God to intervene in the situation and work everything for the good.

7. Get a full night’s sleep. Sleep helps your body to reset its natural energy and provides a time for both body and mind to rest. Experts recommend seven to nine hours of sleep per night to maintain a healthy body and a good spirit.

No matter what age you are, it is very important to know the challenges you probably will face. Live life to the fullest as you jourey through it. Try not to focus on the things of the past and the things you might have done when you were younger. Realize that it is never too late to exercise, eat well and reap the benefits that those healthy benefits deliver.

“Lawlessness” is not having any moral restraint over your passions or desires. Freedom in Jesus Christ means you are free from the dominion and control of your passions. It is being free from the power of sin to manipulate you and free from going your own way. It is a freedom within your spirit that you no longer live by lust’s control, but instead by the leading of the Holy Spirit.

When lust controls you, it will entangle you deeper and deeper until you feel you can’t change or go another direction. Of course, that’s a lie. That’s exactly what satan wants you to think. The truth is: Jesus Christ can deliver anyone who wants to be free from lust’s dominion.

Let’s define “lust.” Lust is to have strong desire or craving; a longing for; with the mind made up that if circumstances afforded opportunity. Lust is a state of heart and is deadly as the act of immorality itself. “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matth.5:28).

Do you crave to be looked at? Do you enjoy the thrill of knowing that guys are being sexually aroused by how you look? Some girls are satisfied with just the thrill that they can turn a guy’s head or his eyes, but this attitude can become lust. To be lustful is to provoke or excite those sensual passions in oneself and in others. A girl can get “turned on” sexually knowing that she is turning on a guy  sexually.

A person may say she is a Christian, yet if she uses no self-restraint toward creating thoughts of lust, impurity and sexual desires outside of marriage, she is as dangerous as a poisonous snake. And anybody with a thimble full of common sense avoids poisonous snakes so that they don’t get bitten and die. However many who claim to be Christians see nothing wrong with lust and being sexually involved with other people outside of marriage.

Galatians 5:19 says, “When you follow your own wrong inclinations your lives will produce these evil results: impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure”. Colossians 3:5 says, “Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust and shameful desires….”

There are forces pulling you - in a right direction or in a wrong direction. Understand that when you are on the throne of your life, your inclinations will direct you selfishly toward fulfilling your passions, lust and desires. On the other hand, when Jesus is on the throne of your life, the Holy Spirit will incline you toward pure thoughts, right motives, godly desires and a fear of the Lord. You realize that God’s eyes “are in every place, beholding the evil and the good” (Prov.15:3). Nothing is hidden from Him and you will reap whatever seeds you sow.

Source: “What Guys See That Girls Don’t or do they?”
by Sharon Daugherty.

Amos 3:3 Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?

The Bible makes it very clear about how important it is to be in relation to others. I have been in a couple of wrong relationships; what about you? It was all very painful and sometimes still is. I always felt very vulnerable because of some past experiences. Until I became a Christian and was able to clearly see what was going on.

One thing is that we shouldn’t take this part of our life lightly. Sometimes we do because after all we need company. We don’t want to look at the red flags that go up. We just go on and sometimes tell everything about ourselves until we realize what is actually going on. We have dropped our standards.

So, let’s look at some principles from the Bible. The main quality to look for in a close friend is how much that person loves and fears God. What Amos wrote is a picture of being in agreement on many levels. You will have all different kinds of friends – those with whom you walk closely – should be the kind of friends who impart something of the goodness of the Lord to you every time you are with them.

Signs of a Desirable Friend:
• A desirable friend tells you the truth in love. “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” Prov.27:6
• A desirable friend gives you good advice. “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from earnest counsel” Prov.27:17
• A desirable friend helps you grow in wisdom. “he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffer harm” Prov.13:20
• A desirable friend stays close to you. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother” Prov. 18:24
• A desirable friend loves and stands by you. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” Prov. 17:17
• A desirable friend helps in time of trouble. “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up” Eccl.4:9-10

Signs an Undesirable Friend:
• An undesirable friend is immoral and has no regard for others. “But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.”
• An undesirable friend is changeable and unstable. “Do not join with the rebellious, for those two will send sudden destruction upon them, and who knows what calamities they can bring? Prov.24:21-22
• An undesirable friend gives ungodly counsel. “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.”
• An undesirable friend is a lawless unbeliever. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 2Cor.6:14-15
• An undesirable friend is irreverent toward God and His laws. I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts. Psalm 119:63

Ask God to give you good, godly friends who will influence and encourage you to grow deeper in Him

1. Tell God you are glad He is Your Heavenly Father
Say, “Lord, I come before you today and thank you that you are my heavenly Father.” This establishes your relationship with God in the clearest of terms, because this is who God ultimately is to you.

2. Give God worship and praise.
Say, “Lord, I worship You for who you are and all that you have done.” Then praise Him for everything that comes to your mind.

3. Choose something that you are especially thankful for about God and tell Him how gratefull you are.
Say, “Lord, I thank you that you are more powerful than anything I face or any enemy that opposes me. “Choose another attribute of God you are especially thankful for that day.

4. Give your day to the Lord
Say, “Lord, I give my day to you and ask you to bless it in every way.” When you lift up your day before the Lord and put Hi in charge of it, He will help you walk through it with great success.

5. Present yourself to the Lord.
Say, “Lord, I present myself to you this day as a living sacrifice and ask you to help me be a good steward of this temple of Your Spirit.” When you present your body as “living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God” (Romans 12:1), you are acknowledging your dependence upon Him pgysically as well as spiritually and emotionally.

6. Confess your sins before God and ask Him to help you live His way.
Say, “Search me, O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24) Help me to live in obedience to your ways. “The Bible says, “If we confess our sins and purify us from all unrightessnous” (1John2:9)

7. Ask God to help you speak only words that bring life.
say, “Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart always be acceptable in your sight (Psalm 19:14) May they bring life and truth to everyone who hears them. “Prepare your heart by filing it with God’s Word. And ask Him to put a monitor on your mouth so that every word proceeding from your lips is loving, truthful, kind, comforting, edifying, wise, encouraging and God-glorifying.

8. Ask God for what you need
Say, “Lord, I ask you to meet all my needs today. Specifically I ask for the following things…” Then tell the Lord whatever it is you need.

9. Pray for Gods will in your life.
Say, “Lord, may your will be done in my lod to keep us in His Perfect will, the less chance we will end up outside of it.

10. Pray for other people and situations.
Say, “Lord, I pray for the following people…” Then list all who come to your mind. Pray for any stuation that you know needs your prayers.

End your prayers saying, “In Jesus’ name I pray all these things.”